


eyelids

by orphan_account



Category: Arctic Monkeys, The Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Songfic, idk i guess this is ldr, is this technically a song fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7893919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i can't sleep, that's when you're torn away from me.<br/>while i'm dreaming, i feel you leaving.</p>
<p>(a milex fic inspired by eyelids by pvris)</p>
            </blockquote>





	eyelids

he hates how empty the bed feels.

without the sound of his snoring filling his ears, his warm skin against his always-cold fingertips, his aura next to him on the bright white blankets- _he_ feels empty. his chest feels heavy. without someone next to him he feels too alone in the world- him, his body, his bed, is the earth and the world around them is the whole solar system, the whole galaxy.

a tiny speck of dirt in the vast universe he lives in.

and he wishes he could just fall asleep because it's the night like these, where he stays up too late, that he wanders too far off. he knows it and he always regrets letting his mind go to those places but he can't bring himself to say good night. the morning always brings too much pain, too much heartbreak when he reaches his arm over to the other side and feels nothing but the cold fitted sheet. he compares it to pulling out your teeth with rusty forceps or without anesthesia. makes him chuckle. makes him forget for even a fraction of a second why he's like this.

in his restlessness he throws the covers off of him and hops up onto his feet, fumbling around in their moonlit bedroom for his jacket before pulling out a pack and taking a cigarette and lighter out, quickly lighting it and letting the smoke fill his lungs.

their apartment is completely still, quiet save for alex's inhaling and exhaling and the padding of his feet as he wanders the rooms that doesn't feel like home without him. he takes a seat on the couch that smells like smoke and ash and takes a long drag from the cigarette between his index and middle fingers.

today has been one of the worst yet.

sometimes miles can come back, and those are the days that alex feels so happy that his heart could simply explode and a smile can never leave his face. sometimes he can find time off and fly back for a mere 24 hours before leaving again. sometimes they plays shows close enough they can afford a night of tangled limbs in their own bed. beyond this, however, their love has been limited to missed phone calls, voicemails, and texts that won't be read for hours. alex is somehow always occupied when miles needs him. miles is always gone when alex needs to hear his voice. the older one is convinced this is a trick the universe is playing on them.

" _maybe we just ain't meant t' catch each otha at the right time, y'know?_ " he drawled one night over the phone. before he could get a chuckle out the line begin beeping, signaling his three minutes was almost up.

in three minutes he can record a song but it takes much longer to write it, much longer for him to voice how much the man on the receiving end means to him and what he would do to have him by his side. time limits are a bitch.

just as alex fell fast asleep minutes later miles called, not expecting much but still feeling the pang of disappointment in his stomach. "i miss ya laa, _i do_. i'll see you soon," miles told him in a voicemail minutes later.

alex still isn't sure how he manages to stay under the limit.

he forces himself off the couch that he was almost beginning to completely sink into and saunters over to the record player, flicking through the seemingly endless sleeves they have stored before pulling one out and setting it onto the platter then carefully placing the tonearm down.

_what do i have to do_

_to get you where i want you?_

don't get him wrong- he's happy, of course. miles was made to be a performer. every time he steps foot onto the stage he makes it his _own_. alex is absolutely ecstatic that miles gets to live out his dream and tour the world. he couldn't be any more joyful to see the way the love of his life's eyes light up when he plays. the problem is when he gets left behind, alone at home for weeks at a time. the thing is, alex needs the intimacy. not necessarily sex, but he needs to feel him. see him. he needs to be able to put his lips against the pulse of mile's neck and heave in his scent. he needs to know he is right there, with him. he needs hands tangled in hair and peppered kisses along his stomach and prolonged eye contact. he hasn't had any of these things in 8 (and a half) weeks now and it's beginning to get to him. it's as if he's being haunted by a ghost. he swears that sometimes he can feel miles' breath on his neck, his slender fingers dancing along his skin, and it's almost like he's home. that is, until he opens his eyes and finds he's still gone, alex is all alone in what used to feel warm and welcoming and now is nothing but a reminder that he's on his own.

alex tries to get his mind off of it. he tries to go about his normal life- he visits cafes, goes shopping, records in the studio, but often times his thoughts still lead back to the hole in his chest. there's even been a few drinks with his friends now and then, but he often wakes up those next mornings feeling worse than if he had stayed home. _what kind of ghosts still haunts you throughout the day?_ he wonders.

_you're a million miles,_

_a million miles away_

_so come closer_

he puts out his decaying cigarette in the ash tray on the coffee table before noticing the time. the sun is just beginning to rise, painting the white clouds shades of orange and red at a stark contrast to the deep blue sky. he walks past their balcony and back into their room, where he flops down onto their bed and loudly sighs. he grabs his phone from under the covers and begins looking through their voicemails before deciding to listen to the last one he left. his eyes flutter shut and he happily hums as he hears miles' voice through the speakers.

"hey love, i just wanted t' say good night. we just got to the hotel from the gig, quite an amazin' one as well. it's, ah, it's been good lately." he goes silent for a few moments, deeply inhaling before sighing and clearing his throat. "i miss ya. it's a bit unfair, don't you think? i mean, in what world do i go t' sleep after you and wake up before you? i don't even know how it happens..." he takes another deep breath before continuing, "well i hope you're 'avin sweet dreams, an' you call me when you wake up, i guess. i'll try to answer this time." he chuckles and a smile spreads across alex's face. "i love you." the recording stops and alex is quick to play the next one, but is interrupted by another phone call. the name reads "mi" and he excitedly presses "accept".

"hello?"

"o-oh. alex?" his tense shoulders relax upon hearing miles say his name. "i wasn't expectin' you to be up so early."

they both laugh before alex replies, "honestly, i haven't slept."

they talk for a few minutes, alex's smile growing wider and wider as the clock ticks on. talking to miles will always give him the same feeling no matter what, he finds, as if he's talking to his teenage crush for the first time. his heart threatens to beat out of his chest and his head feels dizzy, too light. he would never give it up though, not for the world. as their laughter dies down from a bad joke miles made, alex asks, "why'd you call?"

miles scoffs. "am i not allowed t' call my boyfriend?"

"well of course you are, it's just- usually you wanna talk about something specific when you call. isn't it your day off? are you going t' do anything?"

alex can hear the smile in miles' voice when he says, "well now that you ask..." a knock at the front door causes alex to bolt up from his place on the bed.

"miles... you did not." his disbelief is met by a laugh over the phone that he swear he can hear from outside as well and he immediately hops off the bed and carefully makes his way through their living room and kitchen. he stands before their front door and murmurs, "miles i swear to god-"

from outside he hears "i forgot my key, aly, so you gotta let me in either way."

alex unlocks the door and swings it open to find miles standing there, a small suitcase in hand and a mess on top of his head that he called a hair do. and obviously, his first instinct was to wrap his arms around him.

"woah woah woah al, dont wanna crush me there!" he joked as he pulled alex off of him after probably a full minute of hardcore hugging. he holds him by his shoulders and takes a minute to really look at his face. it hasn't been that long since they last saw each other, but it always felt like the first time in years. and somehow, alex always got even more beautiful. a huge smiles cracks along miles' face and he lightly kisses alex on the forehead before whispering, "i've missed you."

"weren't you in... in france or summat? why'd you come today, i mean you've got a 3 day break in a few weeks, it's 7 am why are you even-" miles silences him with another kiss, this time on the lips.

"i don't even get an 'i missed you too'?"

_i see i'm falling, gently onto the cobbles_

_skipping into the quicksand_

_not into your arms_

alex lays, curled up into miles' chest as he strokes and runs his fingers through his hair.

"y'know alex, i was thinking- we should start our own band."

alex's head pops up, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open despite how tired he is. "i... i'd love that, mi." he yawns before tucking his chin in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. "that way you wouldn't have to leave me on tour, either."

the younger man smirks, sighing happily and letting his eyes shut. "yeah, i think that'd be my favorite part."

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this is supposed to be a universe where arctic monkeys doesn't exist or what but i literally wrote this at 4 am so... forgive me for any typos or lines that don't fully make sense. i'll probably notice them later then cry for a bit about publishing this like that before fixing it. as i said in the summary, this is based off the song eyelids by pvris, which you can listen to [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ2rNvqiSWM) it's basically just this emo ass song about not being able to spend time with your partner, and i was especially inspired by the fact lynn gunn is gay as fuck and so are miles and alex. so... yeah.  
> also if you didn't know the song that starts playing when alex puts the record on is miles' [come closer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBfC7OlRK1w) and at the end it's [quicksand.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIdjSj4OBnM) does that make this a songfic within a songfic?  
> if you couldn't tell i am so much better at writing sad/angsty things than i am at regular fluffy happy stuff so i'm sorry. the only thing worse than my attempt at fluff is my butchering of their accents. i'm a dirty american who can't understand or write in anything except southwestern accents. oops. i really tried not to overdo it and i think in the process probably underdid it..  
> if you want me to be honest i'm not entirely happy with this but i've never written a milex/am/tlsp fic before so i guess i have to start somewhere. i hope you enjoyed tho


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